I wanted my first blog on my website to be about the most important thing to me…intimacy with Christ. In our over-sexualized America, that probably sounds uncomfortable to even use the word “intimacy” with Christ to most.

If He’s not the Bridegroom and we are not the Bride, then I don’t know what we’re doing. I wonder if we even know what we signed up for. Our intimacy with Christ is pure, undefiled and not like the fake intimacy the world provides.

If your proximity to Christ is not your life, then you might want to read my blog from here on out.

If Jesus hasn’t radically changed you from the inside out, you may want to stay tuned.

If you have the heart to be close to God and the desire for time with Him every day, but don’t know how, then keep reading what He gives me to write.

If Jesus is your life, we could fan each other’s flames.

Talking to people recently, I have caught myself saying “I don’t know how people do life without Jesus.” I truly don’t. We are wired for a deep, close relationship with Christ. He is our life. (Col 3:4) So if we aren’t connect to our life source, then we are the walking dead and our “fruit” is deeply revealing.

If we don’t find this enough-ness in Him, we will seek after fake intimacy.

“The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.” ~Bruce Marshall

When we don’t go to Jesus to satisfy our deepest longings, we will go to something else. We are made to search for God and find Him, but instead we train our minds to go to fake things.

Masturbation is one of those fake things. In our independent culture, we “got this” on our own. We can have intimacy with ourselves. This wasn’t God’s intended purpose, but we we take matters into our own hands and say it’s okay….as we live in shame around it.

Porn is another form of fake intimacy. I seriously wonder the numbers of people that struggle with this. I would guess it would be much higher than what people reveal. For whatever reason, people hardwire their minds to watch other people have sex. If anyone stepped back and thought about what they were doing, they would see how destructive this action is. But unfortunately, repentance (to literally change your mind about a matter) hasn’t happened and their brains are still wired in one way, like an addiction.

An addiction you can be free from.

I talk about these two things because I am no fool, not ignorant or uninformed about these issue in the house of God.

I watched porn twice before I was saved. I used to masturbate too.

Jesus freed me from both and I have not turned back.

With porn, it was never an addiction….I didn’t feed myself enough to crave it.

But with masturbation, that was more like a stronghold. I fasted it for many years, but fasting something and renewing your mind on an issue are two different things. One will get you to appear free and one will be your freedom.

God showed me His heart for why the action of masturbating wasn’t what He had for me. I needed to know the “why” because just stopping something you are obviously ashamed of without knowing God’s heart on it, will get you back in darkness with a quickness. He showed me it was fake intimacy and like a false idol that I ran to. That was enough understanding and I’ve been free for years. My mind changed….i.e. repentance.

Jesus calls us to true intimacy and of course this isn’t sexual at all.

I meet with Jesus every morning. We process. We dream. I pray. He prays for me. I listen. He listens to me. He corrects me. He loves me. He leads me. He’s everything.

As a single woman, I get why we can call Him our Husband. (Isaiah 54:5) I ask Him about everything. We talk about everything. Where are we moving? Where are we ministering? How do I put this fireplace together? How do I organize this event? I would think this is how married couples talk. I never knew anything different, so Jesus became my Husband who shows me how we are doing this thing called life.

I call on Him all day. He’s right there. All tha time. He’s attentive to every cry. I thank Him all day long. I lean into Him. I cry with Him. I laugh with Him. He is my life. I am never alone.

This is true intimacy. If you don’t have it, I hope you find Him.

This intimacy is only gonna get better the more and more we know Him and He knows us.

The Word of God says to know Him is eternal life. (Jn 17:3)

And for Him to know me is my eternity. (Mt 7)

It’s everything.

Please feel free to share my blogs, repost them on your social media and comment. I want this to be an interaction and not just a one sided expression. Love you all and may you truly know Him and have Him be your all in all.