Trusted Jesus with my lungs.

Sometime around 2004, I sensed the Lord say that one day I will scuba dive and learn how to trust Him in the deep.

It’s one thing to say we trust Him with our whole lives, until He asks for your lungs.

This year, God has been highlighting Romans 6:13 on repeat: to give Him every part of myself as an instrument of righteousness.

So I have been thinking “Give Him my eyes, ears, mouth, mind, motives, right pinky finger. You name it, it’s Yours.” I guard my ears and eyes well. I am very careful what I watch or listen to. Some might call that being too strict or religious, but I call it being consecrated. I want nothing to hinder me and Jesus.

All these years, when I talked about my bucket list Jesus and I made together….I would have to take a deep breathe when I ever mentioned scuba diving. Like a physical deep breathe just talking about it. It made me nervous. The thought of a tank on my back and being totally dependent on that equipment to not fail, so I could breathe, was literally breath taking.

But I knew the invitation was to deeper trust with Jesus. That it wasn’t about scuba diving per se but more about a symbolic act of trusting God to take you deeper. If I trust Him, I would see beautiful things. Things that many might not ever see.

In 2019, I had a vision of me in the depth of the ocean with 3-4 people. Jesus was the lifeguard. (love that analogy) There were many people in the vision on the boardwalk taking selfies with the ocean (symbol of God’s presence) but not willing to totally immerse themselves in God. Some baby Christians were at the shore dipping their toes in the water.

However, I was out in the deep. We were surface level, but we out der. Jesus really encouraged me in this vision that I just needed to focus on the disciples He gave me and really pour into them. Teach them how to stay out there.

This year, I am with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Kona, Hawaii. As I was going through leadership training, Daniel (our leader of the leadership track here in Kona) offered to train us in getting scuba certified.

I knew it was the time. From 2004-2022, there never seemed like an opportune time while living in Iraq, Israel, Afghanistan, Hungary, etc to go scuba diving, but this made sense. This was the time. And while I am in such a transition season of joining YWAM again, it made sense that Jesus would want to take me deeper in Him.

And deeper we are going.

March 23rd, 2022, I started the day in my quiet time. I am reading the Bible through chronologically. I “JUST SO” happened to be reading about Joshua and the Israelites all crossing the Jordan….finally!!!! Manna dried up for the first time in 40 years. They crossed over into their promised land. They took their first town….Jericho. I read how the Lord was with Joshua in all this.

This day, March 23rd, right after reading that, I got ready to do my first scuba diving lesson in a pool. I had done all the online training and rented my gear to finally cross this “Jordan moment” in my life of giving God my lungs.

In the pool, we had to do exercises for “just in case” scenarios. Like your mask fills half way with water while under. Your mask fills all the way. Your mask comes off. Your regulator (thing you breathe in and out of) comes out of your mouth. You run out of air and you need to use your buddy’s air. All that under water.

The mask thing got me. I kept inhaling water as it flooded my nose. It was kinda like rubbing your stomach while patting your head. I couldn’t seem to get it. It really made me wanna quit. (those thoughts that run through your head when you are getting pushed into next level stuff with God)

Tip for life: When God has something in store for you…a new transition with Him….a deeper invitation to trust Him…the enemy or your own flesh/mind will convince you that quitting is the better option. Don’t quit. The desire to quit USUALLY happens with every great move of God in my life. It usually happens right at the birth of the vision when I am actually taking steps to obey. Don’t abort the baby when the Lord is trying to birth something new in your life. You’ll be so glad you didn’t. Don’t quit.

My track record with wanting to quit, at the onset, is too consistent for my liking.

1. My first few days in Afghanistan I wanted to leave. Now, Muslim nations are my fave.
2. Crossfit. Wanted to quit the first day. Now I do it about 4 times a week.
3. Last year working as a nurse with Samaritan’s Purse in Covid tents. The first N95 I put on I was claustrophobic and freaked out for a second feeling like I couldn’t breathe. And I had to wear this 12 hours! I prayed and Jesus helped me. It ended up being SUCH an amazing gift from God to live out Matthew 25 in taking care of the sick.
4. White water rafting on the Nile in 2013. That freak out moment when they do the test flip. The Lord spoke to me that He wanted me to do this. It was SO amazing. But I wanted to quit in the beginning. We had the most exhilarating ride!
5. First week of the last mission org I was with for almost 8 years, I wanted to quit while in Costa Rica. I ended up LOVING all the squads I got to work with and lead.
6. Canyoning in Ecuador in 2015. Freaked out before we jumped from a 40 ft drop…but heard His voice say I could trust Him.

So I didn’t quit on all those. But I wanted to.

Thankfully my scuba instructor, Daniel (my leader) is a Christian, I know him, and he carries the capital F…Father’s heart. And it showed while I kept having to repeat the mask skill. He was so patient. I was so thankful.

I didn’t quit.

At one point in the pool, we just swam underwater in the pool using our breathing machine and that was the moment, I started to enjoy it.

If we don’t quit, we follow Him anywhere.

March 24th, 2022…the next day, God had reminded me that morning, in my quiet time, “My Presence goes with you. Remember that today.” We went to the ocean and did a total of 4 dives. First we started with no gear on and a 200m swim in the ocean. TT had never done that. I swam in the ocean for recreation, but not distance. There is a first time for everything.

After that, we did our first dive. It was going to be at 25 feet deep practicing the skills again. I am not an anxious person. I usually walk in a lot of peace, but ya gurl was nervous. 18 years in the making of taking deep breathes just talking about scuba diving was coming to a head in about 2.5 seconds.

I told Daniel “My stomach is upset” right before we descended. He said “You are probably just nervous….you will feel better when we go down.” And I did.

Life lesson: As soon as you actually take the first step of obedience you are usually fine. All the training we went through online had to show worst case scenarios. That coupled with TT own’s thoughts made for interesting scenarios playing in my head. It’s good to know the costs, count them, but make sure you actually TAKE THE STEP! Or for me, the descent.

The first mask exercise at 25 feet deep, I inhaled my fair share of salt water. Plus my sunscreen was now soaking in my eyes in salt water. I wanted to go up to the surface. But I kept trying to clear my mask of all the water and did. Nose burning and all. That was a win.

Daniel led us as we swam around, after those skills were completed and I just stayed close to Daniel and looked around the sea. I had that moment of reminder from God that I could trust Him like Joshua did in crossing the Jordan. It was amazing. It felt like my own crossing moment.

It was worth it.

The 2nd dive was beautiful. We saw an eel, all kinds of fish and the reef.

I didn’t take pictures, as none of us had underwater cameras, but this is what I saw at “2 Step.” It’s called “2 Step” because you take two steps into the ocean like picture shown here to get in. (photos from online)

The 3rd dive, was more skills. I had to take off my mask under water and there I inhaled more water but again, didn’t quit, and was able to clear it. Then we swam around.

The 4th dive, Daniel wanted us to lead the whole thing so we could prove we could do it alone. He was right there with us. (so many parallels in how to disciple people)

They were like “Teresa, you lead.” TT is just happy to be breathing underwater. I am literally reminding myself “Don’t drop the regulator from your mouth, TT.” So I was like “Nahhhhhh!” Paul ended up leading.

My response also showed me a lot about myself. I have led most of my Christian life. I love discipling people, leading groups in passion and vision for the gospel, etc….but it all comes from a place of following. When anyone asks “How can I pray for you?” my usual answer is “Pray I stay close to Jesus.” I love following Him.

In scuba diving, I just wanted to stay close to the person who was confident in what he was doing and knowing that, I could just stay close and follow. That’s my Christian life. Yes, you may follow me as your “leader” but it’s only because I am following closely to the One who is leading me.

When we completed our dives, we rose to the top and Daniel congratulated us that we were now officially scuba certified. He gave us great feedback too on what we could improve on. Like me, floating to the top because I was kicking my fins in a way that would make me resurface. LOL. I have to laugh because in my mind I am thinking “just breathe” and sometimes forget all the other key moves. Daniel was also great at reminding me of how well I was doing. This reminds me of walk with Jesus. Jesus gives me positive and constructive feedback too.

When we got out for our final time, I was giddy. So full of joy that I had trusted God with this. When I got home, I had some quiet time (in the shower….when you live with a bunch of people…that is your moment of solitude) and had THE BIGGEST smile on my face from sheer joy of obeying God in going scuba diving. I am not sure that I have experienced that much joy (and ya gurl lives in awe of this abundant life) in a long time.

Obedience = Joy.

Just ask John. (15:11)

We had our normal corporate gathering that night (a few hours after I got back) and we had worship. My body internally was physically still moving from the waves I had been in all day. My heart just overflowed in worship.

Romans 6:13 is being fleshed out in me.

Who knew, we could surrender our lungs to Him. He wants all of us.

The following morning, I wanted to process with the Lord about all He showed me. I asked “Is there anything You want to show me from scuba diving?” He said “You had to have the right armor.” In scuba diving, before you go out, you make sure all your gear is on right. How many of us leave home without our spiritual armor on every day?

Also if ONE piece is defective, it’s not gonna be good for you. So make sure you love that breastplate of righteousness. Make sure you love purity. Make sure you love and know the Word of God. That is your only weapon. You can’t show up in the deep with no air in your tank, or no regulator or no idea of even how to scuba dive. You have to come prepared. That’s us, every day, with our armor.

God reminded me of something Daniel told the three of us that he trained. “You are the most insulated and weighted group I have ever had.” We all wore wet suits. I get cold easily so I knew the Lord told me, in the scuba shop prior to going, to get a full length wet suit. And because of our wet suits, we were harder to sink….so we had to add weights to our vests so we could stay down in the deep.

God highlighted that in my quiet time and spoke to me about that in the spiritual sense. To be insulated means to be set apart from the rest. It means to be protected from the loss of heat and the intrusion of sound….all the noises vying for your attention.

He spoke into the weighted part, about the weight of glory. And the more weight, the deeper you go in Him. Also, in our training, we learned the deeper you go the more pressure there is. So many parallels. If you choose to live a life in the deeper part of the ocean, you might get outside pressure, but stay down there following the Lamb wherever He is going.

Don’t be a surface Christian to make other

surface Christians feel better about themselves.

When the pressure increases as you go deeper, you have to acknowledge it and do something about it or you will hurt yourself. Like we had to equalize our ears as we went down. If we didn’t our eardrums could burst.

When the pressure comes, take care of your hearing.

Underwater, sound travels 4x faster. But you won’t be able to tell how close a boat is or where it is coming from. The sound gets to you quicker.

If you go deeper, His voice gets to you that much quicker. You might not be able to tell where the sound is coming from or where it is going (underwater but also with everyone born of the Spirit…John 3:8), but it’s that much faster to you because you are following so closely with Him in the deep.

So, all that to say, I am so thankful I can follow Jesus wherever He leads me. I can do everything He has led me to do. He is Emmanuel, the spotless confident Lamb that I can follow ever so closely into 50 feet of water or into every nation.

Jesus, you have my lungs.

Please pray I stay close.